New age parenting in nuclear setup is a daunting situation for any parent. Being away from family and raising your own family requires some patience and tonnes of patience again. Remember all the times when your mother would tell you – “What till you have kids of your own, you will understand!” And, reality is not far from it. As a mother to a toddler now, I wish to turn back the time and listen to my mother.
Once you don the hat of being parent, it never ends. You will fall into tricky situations and how you react to them would lay the foundation for your child’s behavior. So, here are 5 parenting mantras I abide by and I am sure it would help you too!
Two way communication
A new born cries to tell you about her needs. Each cry has a separate meaning – to feed, sleep, poop or cuddle. And, you need practice, but eventually identify it correctly.Similarly, a toddler has different needs. The demands of the child would change. He would want the only thing that you cant give them – be it mobile, a cream bottle or a fork. If you try being adamant, the more defiant the kid would get.
Listen to your child and explain to them the consequences of their actions. Talk to him and divert the communication to other things. Give him another toy or a safe item.
Avoid self doubt and guilt
A little me-time in the day alone or a coffee date with friends in not wrong. It does not mean that you are putting your needs before your child’s. It is alright and you deserve it.
Your friend’s kid is potty trained, but yours is not. This is not your failure at being a parent. Each child develops skill at different pace and it’s perfectly fine. As a parent, you are doing all that you can for your child. Avoid comparing your parenting style with others, it would save you from a lot of heartache and guilt. 🙂
Parents should be on same page
Everyone has different parenting style and you cannot expect them to be same. But, you need to draw a line on what is agreeable and what is not. Discuss with your partner about the things/ behavior that should be on “Not to do” list and reach a consensus. Example, if you do not want your child to watch television at all and your partner has no problem with it. Both parents can agree to a time limit for television and stick to it no matter what. And, this should also be communicated to all the caregivers around the child, like, grandparents or nanny or the daycare.
Child is not “Mini-Me”
Often we parents make the mistake of wanting our children to be exactly like us. We forget that the child is an individual with his/her own personality and not an extension of us. There is no “Mini-me”, your kid is a new human being. He will have his own way to do things. They might not always be right and it is your job as a parent to teach them right from wrong.
This is easier said than done. My kiddo is testing his limits & every time he does things in a new way, I am learning to let go off my old habits.
Patience is virtue
The food bowl is on the floor and milk is spilled. Or you have a long day at work and then come home to find a cranky kid waiting for you. How many times in a day do you feel overwhelmed? The answer would be one too many. But, remember that your kid is watching you and how you react would have long lasting affect. Better to practice what you preach. Do not forget Master Shifu’s mantra of “Inner Peace…Inner Peace”. 🙂
Parenting is a learning curve and you can never be an expert.If you are a new parent or have new parents around you, then share this post with them. You are not alone in this journey. Do you follow any of these methods? Or, are their any other tried and tested mantras that work for you? I would love to hear from you in the comments. 🙂
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